This is why people with ADHD have such poor working memory. Ideas or tasks quickly get pushed out by other thoughts. So they forget.

The key to managing forgetfulness is to take the ideas you want to keep and get them out of your head.

To do this, I use three apps: a notes app for ideas or things I want to keep track of, a reminders app for tasks I need to accomplish, and a clock app for tracking timed tasks. But you don’t need to use your phone; you could easily use a planner or even an empty notebook (such as a Bullet Journal).

Notes app

The notes app is super handy for keeping track of poetry ideas, assignments from meetings, goals, grocery lists, what I’m going to make for supper, and things I want to bring up when I meet with someone. So, when I’m in the shower and I get a brilliant idea, I just reach for my phone on the counter and quickly jot something in my notes app. Otherwise, I’d forget it by the time I returned to the bedroom.

Reminders app

The reminders app helps me organize my tasks into days. Each day, I review the list of tasks for that day, checking them off as I complete them, or transferring recurring tasks to the next day when I complete them. I can also organize them by the order I’ll do them that day, which makes it less likely for me to forget to do something. So, if I’m out walking my dog and I remember that I have to buy shirts on Saturday for our two middle children for their rock camp, I can add a task to my Saturday list, freeing up my mind for the next message coming down the pike.

Clock app

I use the clock app for all my timed tasks, such as kneading dough for 10 minutes, switching the laundry in 45 minutes, or baking granola for 20 minutes. Using a clock app means I don’t have to remember to check the time or wonder how long the bread has been in the oven. Because if I was relying on my mind, it’d be off attending to the next task that popped up, and before I’d know it, the time would’ve elapsed and something will have burned or broke.

Remember: The key to not forgetting is getting stuff out of your head.

That’s how I get stuff out of my head. How do you get stuff out of your head? Let me know in the comments.

ADHD is characterized by forgetfulness, lack of focus, impulsivity, poor time management, and poor prioritization. You won’t find these under the dictionary definition for organized.

But being organized is key for my having been able to manage my ADHD over the last 45 years (well, okay, more like 25 years).

Here’s my office. It’s where I spend many hours each week.

Where are all the stacks of paper? Why isn’t the floor cluttered? Where are all the dirty dishes and snack wrappers?

It doesn’t look like a desk of an ADHD person, or what one might think is the desk of an ADHD person.

Here are a couple images of what my computer looks like:

Here’s my Google Drive workspace: just 4 main folders.

And of course, each of those is organized with sub folders and sub sub folders.

And my file cabinet. Again with the folder and subfolders.

And so on.

Actually, ask my family. I’m pretty anal about being organized. I have to have everything in the right place. The plates must be stacked in a certain order in the cupboard. My T-shirts must be stacked in the order I wear them (the one on top is worn today, the next one tomorrow, etc). My keys are alway put away in the same place.

I keep my surroundings organized because I know that if I don’t, I’d be lost. In fact, that’s how I used to live my life. Everything used to be cluttered and messy. Then something clicked when I was 18 or 19, and all of a sudden, I cleaned my room excessively, and it became extraordinarily neat. And I’ve been that way—more or less—since then, especially in my own personal spaces, less so in spaces I share.

When I’m not organized, I lose things. Or I break things because I’m distracted and don’t notice objects teetering on the edge of a surface.

Staying organized helps me remember tasks, follow up with clients, stay on track with project timelines, and find old records.

Now, in full disclosure, it’s not perfect. I have forgotten some things. But I know that without an organizational system, things would be far worse.

How do you stay organized with ADHD? Let me know your tips in the comments below.

Impulsivity can make it difficult to budget because there’s always something you just must buy. And the inability to budget can lead to consumer debt, which can be compounded by impulsively making large, unaffordable purchases.

For example, when I was 16, a friend convinced me to buy his entire comic book collection for $100. When I was 18, a salesperson talked me into buying an encyclopedia set for $2000. When Mary and I were newlyweds, we were talked into buying a computer course (which came with a computer), a year gym membership, and a year’s supply of food (including a deep freeze), all of which was financed through high-interest loans, one of which was over 30%. (We were also talked into buying a condo that wasn’t even built yet. Luckily, we changed our minds on that one the next day.)

We impulsively moved to Lethbridge for school three years into our marriage. That impulse exacerbated our financial situation because I didn’t meet the residency requirements for Alberta student loans, which meant the federal loan of $5,000 had to last for 12 months, and had to cover tuition and and all living expenses.

Nearly a decade ago, when I was laid off, we impulsively started a business, taking out a line of credit to pay for $10,000 in inventory, a $1000 website, and a $2,500 computer. Poor revenue prompted us to increase the line of credit to $40,000, money we’re still paying off.

Add on top of that various credit cards over the years, and it’s easy to see how impulsivity has unequivocally affected our financial life.

The key to keeping impulses under control is through a budget. It seems counterintuitive, but there’s no way around it. Knowing how much money you have coming in and how much you need to live is the only way to keep on top of impulses.

Our budget is pretty granular and one we developed over a few years through trial and error. A typical monthly budget didn’t work for us; we found that we spent all of our budget too quickly, leaving us too little money by the end of the month.

So we created a weekly budget. We know how much we have coming in each week and how much we have to spend each week. Even then, for some things, it’s just not enough.

For example, I do virtually all of the grocery shopping. I buy groceries three times a week. To stick to the budget, I have to divide the weekly budget amount by three and stick to that mini budget for every visit to the grocery store.

We spend about $1200 per month on groceries. That works out to $300 per week and $100 per visit.

Even with the mini budget in place, I still need to track how much I’m spending as I shop throughout the store. I just keep a running total on the calculator app on my phone. When I get close to $100, I stop. I try to prioritize my list so that the most essential items are in my cart, and purchasing of less essential items is postponed until the next visit.

I must stick to this though. It takes commitment. It can be a challenge, especially if I’m hungry and I pass the snack aisle.

Having a budget and sticking to it is the best way to keep regular spending under control. It also helps you know whether you can afford larger purchases (like new appliances or another vehicle).

If you’re struggling with impulsive purchasing, try a budget. There are lots of free resources out there to help you get started. And it’ll make a huge difference.

What is mindfulness? How is it related to ADHD?

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of being present. It’s about being aware of what’s happening around us at this exact moment, without judgement: how things are, not how we want them to be.

By regularly practicing mindfulness, we develop patience and we learn to separate our reactions from our selves. When we observe our emotions without judgement, we no longer see them as good or bad, just as existing.

Mindfulness can lower stress levels, reduce rumination, improve health, and protect against depression and anxiety.

How is mindfulness related to ADHD?

One hallmark of ADHD is difficulty regulating emotion. That means people with ADHD get easily frustrated, and that frustration can easily evolve into anger.

Other common ADHD qualities are forgetfulness, difficulty focusing, and impulsivity. These qualities can lead us to forget things, procrastinate things, and do things that annoy others, causing them to lash out at us.

When these things build on each other, they can increase our stress levels. Add that stress to the anger I mentioned before, and you have a recipe for an emotional explosion.

Mindfulness can help mitigate factors that contribute to such outbursts. When we take time to be aware of our experiences, we can address some of the qualities of ADHD that create struggle for us.

For example, when we are aware and present as we unload the children from the van—rather than be in a rush—we may be less likely to leave the van unlocked.

When we are aware and present as we are driving, we may be more likely to focus on our surroundings (using ADHD to our advantage) rather than daydreaming.

When we are aware and present as impulses emerge, we can pause and consider the effect our impulses may have on others (or our future) rather than letting the impulses overtake us.

When we are aware and present in situations that annoy or frustrate us, we can acknowledge our emotions rather than let them build up or get out of control. We can ask ourselves why the situation causes anger within us rather than just letting the anger occur. And being aware of the root causes of our anger may help us address the root causes. It may even help us choose which emotions we let grow.

How do we practice mindfulness?

Before we can separate our emotions from ourselves, we must become familiar with experiencing our circumstances objectively. Mindfulness is something that comes with practice.

So, how do we practise mindfulness?

The Foundation for a Mindful Society has a handy 5-step process you can keep in mind as your practice your mindfulness:

1. Set aside some time. You don’t need a meditation cushion or bench, or any sort of special equipment to access your mindfulness skills—but you do need to set aside some time and space.
   
2. Observe the present moment as it is. The aim of mindfulness is not quieting the mind, or attempting to achieve a state of eternal calm. The goal is simple: we’re aiming to pay attention to the present moment, without judgement.
   
3. Let your judgements roll by. When we notice judgements arising during our practice, we mentally note them and let them pass.
   
4. Return to observing the present moment as it is. Our minds often get carried away in thought. That’s why mindfulness is the practice of returning, again and again, to the present moment.
   
5. Be kind to your wandering mind. Don’t judge yourself for whatever thoughts crop up; just practice recognizing when your mind wanders off and gently bringing it back.

As the list indicates, the point of mindfulness isn’t to clear our mind or achieve Zen. It’s about separating ourselves from our experiences, so we can observe those experiences objectively. That objectivity is the critical element we’re trying to nurture; it’s what will help us be aware, to help us remember, to help us complete tasks, to help us reign in our impulses, to help us control our anger.

To help us use our ADHD to our advantage.

That’s our situation. Well, technically, only I and two of our children have been diagnosed, but we’re quite certain at least 3 of the other children have it. I also am pretty sure Mary has it.

Having ADHD while you’re trying to parent children with ADHD has all sorts of complexity, but there is one area in particular I wanted to touch on briefly.

One characteristic of ADHD is poor emotion regulation. That means we get easily frustrated, and that frustration can easily manifest as anger.

Another characteristic is positive feedback. Because people with ADHD are often forgetful, or distracted, or annoying, others often correct their behaviour instead of praise it. And since they rarely receive praise, it’s all the more meaningful when they do.

How is this related to parenting?

Well, as a parent with ADHD, it’s easy for me to get frustrated with things my children do (or don’t do). It’s easy for me to get annoyed that I have to remind them for the ninth time to do something. And it’s easy for me to start lecturing and raising my voice as a result.

The problem with that approach is that it just reinforces the behaviour that frustrated me. My children receive negative feedback, which doesn’t encourage them to change. And their lack of changed behaviour continues to frustrate me.

And the cycle repeats.

The only way to change the cycle is to break it. The problem, however, is that it likely won’t be the ADHD child who breaks the cycle. That’s up to us, the parents—the more mature and responsible ones.

We must be the ones aware of our emotions. If we can be mindful of how we feel and what causes us to feel that way, then perhaps we can catch our negative emotions before they escalate and explode.

Then perhaps we can see some change.

This certainly applies to me. The longest I’ve ever worked at a job is 9 years. The next longest was 3 years. Beyond that, never more than a year. There have been at least twice where I’ve had 3 jobs in one year. And my jobs are rarely related:

• Gas attendant (3 times)
• Night cashier (2 times)
• Courier (then CSR, then dispatcher)
• Carpet cleaner
• Grocery clerk (stocking and data entry)
• Courier
• Web designer
• Asset manager
• Fleet manager
• Application processor
• Communications specialist

Well, you get the idea.

For the last 6 years, I’ve managed my own marketing company. I focus on copywriting, copyediting, and social media management.

This is actually the 10th business I’ve tried, which is probably why it’s finally worked. Not only is it something I’m good at, but it gives me variety.

Every document I write is new. It’s often a new client, but always a new topic. It helps me research new topics, teaching me things I didn’t already know. That in itself is a motivator.

Same goes for editing. Even though it’s often the same grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes that I correct, I always learn so much as I read the documents I edit.

Managing social media accounts for clients also provides me with variety. For each client, I end up spending anywhere between 30 and 90 minutes curating and creating content, engaging with others, and responding to people who are engaging on their own social media accounts. Jumping from a healthcare mindset for 30 minutes to a financial services mindset for another 30 minutes, for example, helps keep me engaged.

And while I still struggle with staying focused, having a workday that is always filled with variety makes a huge difference. And I think ADHD even helps me do my job better, because it helps me easily switch mindsets and to hyperfocus in short bursts.

Have you been able to find a career that accommodates your ADHD, or perhaps even uses your ADHD to your advantage? Let me know about it in the comments.

Poor working memory can make it difficult for us to remember complex processes with multiple steps (such as remembering all the steps in a recipe). It can also be difficult to use our working memory when the brain gets distracted by something else to process, pushing out the first thing you were trying to process (“Wait. Why did I open up this browser tab again?”).

I’ve talked a couple of times about tricks for remembering things. For example, I discussed using reminders on my phone. I also talked about the importance of making habits. Today, I want to touch on another tool I use to help me remember: physical objects.

One thing I’ve found after having ADHD for nearly 50 years is that if I need to remember to do something later, I can put it near a physical object to help me not forget.

For example, since I always put my car keys in the same place in an effort to never lose them, if I have to mail a letter the next time I go out, I can just put the envelope on top of my keys. When I grab my keys to leave, I will notice the envelope and take it with me.

If I am making supper and use up all the remaining supply of an ingredient but don’t have the time right then to add it to the grocery list, I can leave the empty container on the counter. Then when I’m cleaning up, I will notice the container, and I can take a few seconds to enter it into the grocery list.

If I need to retrieve laundry from the dryer but I need to go to the washroom first, I can take the basket with me then leave it outside the washroom door. When I finish in the washroom, I will notice the basket and remember to go get the laundry.

And so on.

This is a super handy way to remember things that aren’t habits or that you might not need to check your reminders list for.

Have you used physical objects to help you remember? Let me know in the comments.

After 45 years of having ADHD and not realizing it, I’ve unknowingly developed coping strategies to help me function productively. In addition to the tools I mentioned above, I use habits to help me remember.

For example, a few months ago, I visited our family doctor about having my prostate examined. She thinks I’m still not quite old enough, so it didn’t happen. But we did discuss my health generally. One thing she recommended was taking vitamin D daily. Apparently, researchers have found that most Canadians don’t consume adequate amounts of vitamin D each day.

I always struggle taking vitamins, medicine, and the like, but I knew that if I created a habit of it, I’d remember to take it. I decided that I’d integrate it into my morning hygiene routine.

I have a morning routine I stick to in the washroom. It helps me remember everything I need to do to get clean and prepare my body for the day. In the shower, I was my bum, then shampoo my hair, shampoo my beard, condition my hair, condition my beard, wash my body, wash my face, and rinse. Even so, if I am too distracted with my own thoughts, I occasionally grab the conditioner without having shampooed first. Luckily, I notice right away.

After I towel off and exit the shower, I brush my hair, brush my teeth, use mouthwash, apply deodorant, apply beard oil, style beard, and moisturize my hands. I decided that I’d take my vitamin right after I use the mouthwash. I always rinse out the mouthwash cap, and I figured I could just fill it with water, which I could then use to wash down the tablet.

And this goes for anything I need to get done.

Here’s another example. Every Wednesday night, I run a bunch of errands. I always do them in the same order: drop children off at activities, take recycling to the depot, buy groceries, fill the gas tank, and (if the weather is warm enough) wash the van. Doing it this way means I don’t come home with an empty gas tank or full recycling bins.

This is the same reason I always put my keys in the same place and hang up my clothes on the same hanger.

Every day is filled with habits for me. And when combined with other tools, such as reminders, to-do lists, and email, they help me stay on track.

Do you create habits to help you remember things? Tell me about your habits in the comments below.

In an effort to change our minds and to convince us to arrange for testing, our child would often give us examples of their behaviour that they thought were manifestations of their ADHD. We often responded in disagreement, saying such things as, “That behaviour is just normal. We did the same thing when we were your age.”

Here’s the thing though.

Now that I have been diagnosed with ADHD, I can recognize that the behaviours our child was highlighting for us were indeed ADHD symptoms.

The reason why I didn’t recognize them before is because it didn’t cross my mind that I had ADHD. I mean, I did relatively well in school, I wasn’t hyper, I didn’t fit any of the stereotype I had created in my mind (or seen reflected in society).

Because I didn’t have ADHD—in my mind—my behaviour wasn’t ADHD behaviour; it was just common behaviour. And if my behaviour was normal, and my child mimicked my behaviour, then their behaviour must be normal, too.

This is why it’s important for parents of children who think they have ADHD to be open to the possibility. Just because you don’t recognize your child’s behaviour as ADHD behaviour doesn’t mean it isn’t. Especially if you don’t truly understand the complexity of ADHD behaviour.

For every 4 children diagnosed with ADHD, 1 of them has at least one parent who also has ADHD. The connection between ADHD parents and ADHD children is pretty strong.

Be open to your child having it. Not only because it shows support for their concerns, but also because it shows you’re willing to accept it if you have it, too.

My entire adult life, I have tried to keep organized. I had a day planner in my late teens, a planner on my mission, and shortly after we were married, we started using an electronic calendar. Email became a critical organization tool of mine, too.

I wanted to take a few moments to run through the system I have set up in the Reminders app on my iPhone. This helps me mostly with getting tasks done

In the app, I have several lists:

• Scheduled items
• Days of the week
• To sew
• To build
• Home maintenance
• To buy
• And a catch all list shared with the rest of the family

In my Scheduled list, I put everything I need to remember to do on a specific date. Here, you’ll see take out the garbage (a weekly task), make lemon squares for a church function, trim some branches on a tree that hangs dangerously over our roof, take a new profile picture to help document my growing out my hair for cancer, and take my monthly vitamin C and iron supplements.

For recurring tasks, I click on the “Repeat” option, then select the frequency I need. For “Taking garbage to the back”, I simply selected “Every Week”. For tasks that occur every month, I would select “Every Month”. And so on. There is even an option for creating your own custom recurrence schedule.

On the date, I’m supposed to do them, I’ll have a reminder pop up on my phone. I’ll either take care of the task myself, assign it to someone, or snooze it if I’m busy when the reminder comes up. Either way, the task gets done that day or soon thereafter.

Next, are my daily lists. These are the workhorse of my system; they’re where I get most of my work done. Let’s look at Sunday’s list.

Here, you see a list of all the tasks I have remaining for the day. (I’ve already completed several tasks today.) These are all things I need to get done today. I also include pretty benign things that I know I’ll do every day, such as walking my dog. I mean, if I choose to not walk my dog, he’ll make sure I actually do. Doing regular tasks like this helps me to remember to look at my app, which is critical if it’s going to be effective for me.

When I complete a task, I check it off. Simple as that. Eventually, the app removes it from my list. However, I do this for just the one-time tasks. For daily tasks (such as walking my dog), I move the task to the next day’s list when I’ve completed it.

Instead of checking off the task, I click on it, then I click the little “i” icon. From there, I click on the “List” menu, and select the next day from the “Change List” window that comes up. Then if we switch to the Monday list, we can see the task listed there now.

As far as the remaining lists go, these are pretty self explanatory: “To sew” is for things I need to sew (like a quilt), “To build” is for projects I want to build (like nighttables), “Home maintenance” are for things that need fixing around the house (I try to add one of these my Saturday list each week), and “To buy” is a list I share with my spouse and is where we list things we need to buy (such as pants or footwear for the children).

And that’s how I used the Reminders app on my iPhone to help me manage my ADHD, specifically my tendency to forget things and procrastinate things.

What do you think? Do you think my system could work for you? How do you use your phone to help you get stuff done? Let me know in the comments below.