{"id":198,"date":"2007-04-06T16:51:54","date_gmt":"2007-04-06T23:51:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.hotpepper.ca\/archives\/2007\/04\/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people\/"},"modified":"2007-04-06T16:51:54","modified_gmt":"2007-04-06T23:51:54","slug":"how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2007\/04\/06\/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Win Friends and Influence People"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I just finished reading &#8220;How To Win Friends and Influence People&#8221; by Dale Carnegie. It&#8217;s an excellent book and showed me several places where I need to improve in interacting with others.<\/p>\n<p>The book is written in chunks, with each chunk (chapters really) elaborating on a principle. I listed these principle (and their corresponding sections) below for your enjoyment. If anyone has read it, I&#8217;d be interested in your thoughts as well.<\/p>\n<h3>Fundamental Techniques in Handling People<\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li>Don&#8217;t criticize, condemn or complain.<\/li>\n<li>Give honest and sincere appreciation.<\/li>\n<li>Arouse in the other person an eager want.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h3>Six ways to make people like you<\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li>Become genuinely interested in other people.<\/li>\n<li>Smile.<\/li>\n<li>Remember that a person&#8217;s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.<\/li>\n<li>Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.<\/li>\n<li>Talk in terms of the other person&#8217;s interests.<\/li>\n<li>Make the other person feel important &#8211; and do it sincerely.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h3>Win people to your way of thinking<\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li>The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.<\/li>\n<li>Show respect for the other person&#8217;s opinions. Never say, &#8220;You&#8217;re wrong.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.<\/li>\n<li>Begin in a friendly way.<\/li>\n<li>Get the other person saying &#8220;yes, yes&#8221; immediately.<\/li>\n<li>Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.<\/li>\n<li>Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.<\/li>\n<li>Try honestly to see things from the other person&#8217;s point of view.<\/li>\n<li>Be sympathetic with the other person&#8217;s ideas and desires.<\/li>\n<li>Appeal to the nobler motives.<\/li>\n<li>Dramatize your ideas.<\/li>\n<li>Throw down a challenge.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h3>Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment<\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li>Begin with praise and honest appreciation.<\/li>\n<li>Call attention to people&#8217;s mistakes indirectly.<\/li>\n<li>Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.<\/li>\n<li>Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.<\/li>\n<li>Let the other person save face.<\/li>\n<li>Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be &#8220;hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.<\/li>\n<li>Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.<\/li>\n<li>Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I just finished reading &#8220;How To Win Friends and Influence People&#8221; by Dale Carnegie. It&#8217;s an excellent book and showed me several places where I need to improve in interacting with others. The book is written in chunks, with each chunk (chapters really) elaborating on a principle. I listed these principle (and their corresponding sections) [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4NkW7-3c","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2907,"url":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2017\/03\/09\/hello-my-name-is-kim-siever-and-im-racist\/","url_meta":{"origin":198,"position":0},"title":"Hello. My name is Kim Siever. And I\u2019m racist.","author":"Kim Siever","date":"9 March 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"No, really. This might come as a shock to people who actually know me well, who have seen me criticizing racist power structures that favour white people. But let me explain. You see, racism isn\u2019t innate; it\u2019s something we have to learn. We learn it from our friends, from our\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Racism&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Racism","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/category\/racism\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/03\/swastikas-906653_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/03\/swastikas-906653_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/03\/swastikas-906653_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/03\/swastikas-906653_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/03\/swastikas-906653_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2954,"url":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2016\/09\/25\/as-years-crawl-by\/","url_meta":{"origin":198,"position":1},"title":"As Years Crawl By","author":"Kim Siever","date":"25 September 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The seconds tick slowly by, each one\u00a0into the next, Bringing in another wave, with seeming no effect. But seconds turn to hours, and hours turn to days, Then weeks, and months, and years go by, and time does get its way. The strongest\u00a0stone, erect and sure, so firmly on\u00a0the\u00a0shore Starts\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Faith crisis poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Faith crisis poetry","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/category\/poetry\/faith-crisis-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/08\/sea-1230960_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/08\/sea-1230960_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/08\/sea-1230960_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/08\/sea-1230960_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2017\/08\/sea-1230960_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4141,"url":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2020\/02\/07\/the-media-arent-objective\/","url_meta":{"origin":198,"position":2},"title":"The media aren\u2019t objective","author":"Kim Siever","date":"7 February 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The local media can\u2019t be bothered with reporting the truth. Or at least not all of it.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2020\/02\/children-403582_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2020\/02\/children-403582_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2020\/02\/children-403582_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2020\/02\/children-403582_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2020\/02\/children-403582_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3843,"url":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2019\/10\/01\/trudeaus-brownface-doesnt-erase-our-own-racism\/","url_meta":{"origin":198,"position":3},"title":"Trudeau\u2019s brownface doesn\u2019t erase our own racism","author":"Kim Siever","date":"1 October 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I get that it\u2019s problematic for Justin Trudeau to dress up in brownface, but it\u2019s also problematic when we focus on it.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/10\/72134814_2393621157392356_2623243484684877824_n.jpg?fit=960%2C541&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/10\/72134814_2393621157392356_2623243484684877824_n.jpg?fit=960%2C541&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/10\/72134814_2393621157392356_2623243484684877824_n.jpg?fit=960%2C541&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/10\/72134814_2393621157392356_2623243484684877824_n.jpg?fit=960%2C541&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2885,"url":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2015\/10\/02\/how-i-finally-admitted-to-being-a-communist\/","url_meta":{"origin":198,"position":4},"title":"How I finally admitted to being a communist","author":"Kim Siever","date":"2 October 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It may come as a surprise to many that I\u2019m a communist. Actually, given my left leanings as of recent, some people may not be that surprised. I know it\u2019s already too late, but before you start prejudging me, you may want to realize that you probably misunderstand what communism\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Christian Communism symbol of yellow sickle and cross on red background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2015\/10\/Untitled-1.jpg?fit=825%2C510&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2015\/10\/Untitled-1.jpg?fit=825%2C510&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2015\/10\/Untitled-1.jpg?fit=825%2C510&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2015\/10\/Untitled-1.jpg?fit=825%2C510&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3789,"url":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/2019\/09\/19\/i-grew-up-thinking-i-was-indigenous\/","url_meta":{"origin":198,"position":5},"title":"I grew up thinking I was Indigenous","author":"Kim Siever","date":"19 September 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I grew up thinking I was Indigenous. Or more particularly, that I was part Indigenous. I was taught that I was M\u00e9tis, and that meant part French and part Cree.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/09\/dreamcatcher-918980_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/09\/dreamcatcher-918980_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/09\/dreamcatcher-918980_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/09\/dreamcatcher-918980_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2019\/09\/dreamcatcher-918980_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=198"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siever.ca\/kim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}